Social Awkwardness

I really don't mind if you sit this one out
My words are a whisper
Your silence a shout

I have a preference for being alone with animal companions. My motto is,"you never have to wonder what an animal means or question their intent", they are authentic.
If awkward around most humans unable to ascertain their meanings and egoic tactical maneuvering. Chances are I'll inadvertently do or say something in appropriate that will be held against me as evidence of incompetence.
People shrug and think I prefer to be alone, which I do, but why.

Some things are better left unsaid, but most aren't. Situations with my relatives come to mind. They don't say something and of course since we're all connected the unsaid thing hangs in the air like a mystery. It breeds division, those who know vs those left out. 
It's stupid for a major issue to be swept under the rug and the offender silently shunned when a little painful honesty would keep everyone on the same plane.

Who's feelings are you saving. What feelings are you saving.
The feeling of advantage to be the one who knows better?
Sounds like another ego trap to me.
They are feelings of superiority as far as I can tell.
Months, years or decades later when the unsaid surfaces. It's like, whaaa? Why didn't anyone tell me. Fuck you.

Keep the offender in their place that's why.
Keep a lable handy, the little one, the foolish one, or worse yet victim of arrested development, as if retarded. Help the retarded for they are unfortunate unable to navigate without assistance from the competent.
Division in the microcosm.

Family programming brought in the open.
Ya know what, that's why I like animals. Since I was treated this way the entirety of my days I've been conditioned to see through and not to trust humans.
Once I've caught you in your lies to yourself and to me don't expect me to feel companionable love or gratitude. I feel companionable love and gratitude for honesty, especially painful honesty.
Yeah new age platitudes, healing anscestoral trauma, that's me, yada yada.

"Honest to the point of recklessness"
" on The fool on the hill"

So I sit on my mountain estate, accomplished and aware, happy and fulfilled, creating more reality like an oncoming train.
Apart from you, not better, not disadvantaged.
I made this home, it's what I envisioned. I made this life with time for art and woods to roam.
Actually the less I see or interact with you the better. Who's  shunned now.
Division in the microcosm.
We as humanity need to grow beyond that shit.
Namaste

Politics is theater for the ugly

Politics then and politics now is just theater for the ugly. The answer has always been and always will be inside us. Connections we make, things we create. When it's time for our last breath, will we feel we've done what we came to do, to experience what we came to experience, to learn what we came to learn, to teach what we came to teach, to heal what we came to heal.  With our last breath we know politics is a world of darkness and how we treated our fellow travelers, be it two legged, four legged, winged or rooted is all that matters. Wake up discover that you are the eyes of the world, to quote a cyclic wise song. 🕉️☮️♾️
Lovin you 🌈💖💫✨💞💕

Trees Around Me

When we first moved our here the trees and I were strangers. The only humans they'd seen had bulldozed a swathe thru their valley.

When I met them they were as imposing as they make themselves be, cold and distant. Assessing and watching because that is the way with trees.

So we lived our life as a family with kids and pets and houseplants in the yard.
Then one day I realized we weren't strangers any more.

As I lived my busy human life I had begun to put down roots. The trees accepted me and now my roots mingle with theirs in the earth , sharing energy and holding hands as we encounter and endure conditions above ground and in the air.

In the end it's just about love.

Just yesterday morning

It's the first morning in the 20s temperature wise this year , early November. As I sit in front of a freshly made fire my mind stumbles into Ashlen. The tragedy of Ashlen. That's all it takes, I'm crying , snot dripping all over, hyperventilating quietly.
There are so many kinds of crying. This was a sharp acute one but kinda quiet too, just a drastic stab of the loss.
Then I realize my hyperventilating is similar to this kundalini breathing exercise...off we go with the esoteric unseen if you're an eye roller just go away for a bit.
So I go into we had this soul agreement and some part of that is for me to feel these emotions, lots of emotions , just to feel.
Ok done it, can it stop now?!?
Nope like a tour in McKamey Manor Russ is there, urging me on, can't you take a little more you're broken but there's still some things we need to shake loose...
I say noooo...the universe kicked my ass ate my lunch then me, stole my milk money and you really don't want to do this. Sorry couldn't help it, no more loosh bait.
It's all good. We're all doing what we're here for. 🕉️☮️💖✨💫💞💕🌌🌞🏞️

How do you know when the government is lying

Honestly I am not on either side of this debate disagreement or fence.  This like any other political hot button topic leaves one with confusion.
What about the ice shelf what about the polor bears who's behind this what about the leaves turning a month later than they used to and what about this dramatic Arctic blast vortex that's in its way Tuesday. What about the glyphosate in organic food what about honeybun plastic jars that tastes like plastic what about , what about being lied to by officials about so much forever that it's hard they can tell the truth about anything what about them planting seeds and dissent so that the populace doesn't know about what

https://www.investors.com/politics/editorials/the-stunning-statistical-fraud-behind-the-global-warming-scare/

compulsive cleaning~written in June 2019 neglected to publish : /

I'm not generally a neat person but I do like a certain sense of order. After my world got blown open in a way it can't undo things started happening. 

Out out damn spot

One of them was this odd compulsion to clean clean clean.

I think many of us get this cleaning compulsion.

Seems obvious that symbolically we are cleaning the  un-needed extra weight from our lives. Cleaning away all the other things that generate unnecessary energy.

On the day's I get sucked back into the vortex of only being able to clean I know my mind is cleaning unnecessary crap out too. 

It's weird, early on I was shedding people and possessions like flies. Filling truckloads of stuff and hauling it away....but not only that , things I didn't realize were unnecessary or had energies in them I wasn't aware of started losing themselves. A mirror fell off the wall, I knew intuitively at once it wasn't a 7 years bad luck thing but there was something in it that didn't need to be in the house.

The Tattoo Gods~written in June 2019 neglected to publish : /

I'm an artist. Multimedia, love working with my hands.
For 13 years while my kids were growing up I was a tattoo artist to support them. Key words, to support them.

Being a misfit you'd think the miscreant misfit world of tattoo might have been a comfy zone.
Not so's you'd notice.
There are Tattoo Gods.
They must be appeased.
The Tattoo Gods test you all the time. They say if you're in it for the money you'll never make it. It's a male dominated pecking order too.

The tattoo Gods tolerated me. I was there for the income but with pure intentions. My tattoos were inconsistent and I had issues absorbing energy from the clients.

If it was a cool piece and a cool person with good skin it was always bad ass. If I hated it sometimes I still nailed it. If the person was obnoxious, usually during the course of the tattoo I would see and feel their humanity and love them like a neighbors dog. (in a good way).
It was weird and no one had a full explanation for the weirdness and there are magical people in the tattoo community.
The tattoo world is a melting pot for subcultures. Think about it, every subculture has particular markings, costumes, uniforms, paradigms etc.

Tennessee Kitten in Manhattan~written in June 2019 neglected to publish : /

I sold a kitten to a lady in Manhattan .I was so worried about one of my babies living in the belly of the beast!
Oh she was a nice lady, she and her dad met me in VA.
Soon after she got back to New York, a transponder exploded in Manhatten causing a huge blue explosion that made headlines for a couple days .
Yeah, I shoulda had more faith, that little furry ball of love was kinda like a pop rocket shining forth .

A Foot In Two World's revisited -written in June 2019 neglected to publish : /

Hey y'all.  What do you think of this idea that's been ruminating around my head for a few years......

This idea was inspired by a few popular reality TV shows about off grid living that featuring off gridders etc.

Where I live in the southern Appalachian mountains there is a network of people with alternative lifestyles that are technically no where near off grid but also no where near ordinary either. These are the people ignored though they form a substantial part of the subculture.

I imagined a book titled A Foot In Two World's. Just something kicking around but too energy and time consuming to actually do.
But..... What about video interviews instead? Hmmm. What about that? A sub series on my YouTube channel. Idk
if it's technically possible with YouTube alone for an interview to happen in two locations. Haven't paid attention to the technical aspect of other things that are similar. I know about Zoom rooms, they can be expensive and some diddly side amusement isn't worth a financial investment to me.
Idle speculation.

What do you two think?

Medicines

Plant based medicine for biological multidimensional entities, chemical based medicine for enslaved apocalyptic entities.

Yup and the wild part is there is a choice and that's what's being suppressed, if a slave knows there is a choice there will no longer be a slave. 

What a conundrum.

Why I don't trust politicians

I don't trust politicians. Any of them. Smaller government can be closer to ideals, but even them. I'll tell you why.

In my time spent with the rainbow family, a temporary intentional microcosm isolated from society for periods of a few weeks at a time, I've participated in council's and food runs.
Food runs are trips to the nearby grocery outlets for supplies funded by magic hat money. The money is donated in good faith and lists are made and people launched. Mostly it does go for higher good as it's supposed to.

But occasionally I have witnessed individuals, usually some one in a focalizer role, misappropriate funds. Things like so & so got a case of soda and stashed it in their tent.
The point being, these people, drawn together by love and repelled by ordinary society called Babylon, fall prey to greed even in this kind of setting. Remember it seems focalizers have been known to do this either on the sly or bluntly defying challenge.

I'm sure you've seen this on small personal scale, church events the pecking order. Any group will be subject to these faultings of the human condition.
So......you see where I'm going with this. People who can access funds to stash in their savings or invest in stocks. People who can grab more than a case of soda do.

This makes secrets and skeletons in closets and back room deals and bribery and all the other things power brings.
Perhaps absolute power currupts absolutely, but a little bit of power brings a little bit of temptation with it.
Some pass the test some do not.

We don't know what's going on with these people unless we are a fly on every wall they are in. How can we make any kind of informed choice when all the information that trickles down to us, the masses is tweaked by spin doctors and every media person with an agenda? Every one has an agenda, or two.

This. This is simply why I don't trust politicians. If my analogy is lost to you, further expounding won't help so I'ma gonna leave it here.

How to handle current events 101

If I hear some disturbing news, I am presented with a set of choices.
The energy I choose to feel is the energy I send back out to the situation and everyone else affected by my energy field.

You get where I'm going right?

If I feel outrage at a public figures behavior, simply put that is the energy I am sending out. Monkey mind is busy.
If I feel sadness and despair, I send out and percieve sadness and despair.

So simplistic! What a bunch of new age hocus pocus. New age was crap & crystals in the eighties is more redundant now. The sixties faded to a jaded legend, how stupid can I be for spouting this rhetorical ideology.
Hahahaha

Believe me I've tested and researched this hypothesis and have found it relatively consistent.
So...... If your one of my consistent readers you know exactly where I'm going with this, redundant ho hum and critical to how the world is.

In the face of current events, how dare I not feel outrage and all that? How dare I , get it? Sorry not sorry.
In the face of ever fluctuating exterior events, I take note, register what I can actually do related to them and continue to resonate the vibe we want in the world.

That expanded beautiful place beyond verbal capacity. May my love for the world spread like a virus or at least brighten some ones day or world and create a chain of love and at-one-ment.

Simplistic and there's intricate details and practices beyond that, but I'm tired of typing and it's time to feed the animals.

Day begins. Philosophy, practice, 3d maintenance activities, practice interwoven into the fabric of each moment.

Namaste you'uns 🕉️☮️🌈🌄🏞️

Mcdonalds, Hansel and Gretel (David and Greta)

I do on occasion eat from fast food drive troughs. For the most part I am neurotic about my food and media consumption, but not fanatic. Fanaticism is a topic for another time.
Mcdonalds though is particularly frightening. Altho I enjoy the occasional filet of fish or caramel Sunday , I avoid them like a plague.  Which they are.
Have you noticed since mcdonalds upgraded to two lane drive throughs that both lanes most always have long lines?
What's up with that?
What is in their food that causes people to do that?
The other feeding troughs have relatively reasonable lines(depending on the time of day). But Mickey d has this double line extra long.....
I don't know enough to speculate other than it looks scary.
Same thing with many of the bandwagons rolling around in the zeitgeist in current times.
People, intelligent supposedly free thinking people, are hopping on them for a ride. Not content to trudge through the mud and dust of truth.
Idk, guess my arrested development and crippling sensitivities keep me from taking rides with strangers even when my friends wave at me and proclaim extra seating on their wagon of choice.
It's like a parade, children are recruited and manipulated to give bold emotionally charged speeches as their wagon rolls by, their feet and blonde braids not touched by the mud which is actually the stuff of the mother. David Hogg and Greta Thunberg are two prime examples.
I choose the mud to a lofty disconnect. The mother is truth, you don't have to wonder about her motives or her motivators wolves in sheep's clothing. Using the children like shields. How dare they.
Like Hansel and Gretel, David and Greta are lost in the forest and being rescued by dark forces.

We Are Stardust....

In these times of being woke and awakening, many people are asking the question about what exactly is their "junk dna" about? Are they a star seed, what planet are they from.
A kinda weird phenomenon rolling around in the zeitgeist right now.
And since these people are as sincere as they know how to be, a perspective to apply works kind of like this:

It is analogous to an adopted child wanting to know of their origins.
An adopted child usually has to wonder about their genetic origins. Whether they have Mediterranean, African, northern European or indigenous American blood for example.
In our society without (ideally) racism it really doesn't matter, but the individual wants to know.
The individual wonders if their preference for a certain kind of food is from their ancestry.
So it is with people being activated for the first time.
The fact that we are comprised of multiple races adds to this longing for roots.
Just as with an adopted child miasma's of their predominant genetic make up may give them a certain characteristic, so with our star origins.
We are all star seeds and all adopted and adapted to these skin suits on this planet now.
Regardless of our ancestors, both geographic and genetic hybrid components, we are all in this together.

Forgiveness is Multidimensional

Forgiveness and healing is a multidimensional path.
Actions and thoughtforms in 3d influence other dimensions. That's why "they" are so concerned with atomic weapons, they do things in 4,5,6d etc. Mindless humans.

As I was meditating and my mind was still surfacing and wandering I stumbled flowed into the thought feeling for focus 10 from gateway courses from the Monroe institute.
The state of expanded awareness. So there I sat breathing in bliss, the witness of the witnesser spreading my awareness in a bubble of the surrounding geography. Then I came to my neighbors property line and I felt aversion and witnesses my expanded bubble became deformed and dented there.  Oh no can't have that, so realized the infinite love and acceptance , rounded out the bubble realizing that rounding it out in that dimension can affect the others and conversely how having a dent in my 3d relations with these people could put a dent in my auric levels and do you see the connections?
As an example there are more.

And it's the Algorithms

The algorithms are in charge. Not our human preference.
Any post with my face gets likes(like 20 the first day and more each day, this is a new phenomenon).
As far as I know y'all like my yard and nature pics as much or more than my face. Evidently the algorithms don't feel the same.

I noticed a distinct change in the amount of likes certain posts get lately and I must say it's obviously artificial and unnerving.

And disappointing, when I posted my pick up truck loaded with eight certain household fixtures only a handful noticed 😢. That load of household fixtures was important to me and I wanted to share it for the chuckle factor and as communication update in picture form of a certain situation my fb friends had been aware of.

Disturbing and unnerving. I saw a woman post recently in a group that her family and friends are liking her stuff noticibely more and attributed it to her own actions and situation in her life. Sorry sis, it's the algorithms, try posting a truckload of toilets and see how many likes you get.

Disturbing and unnerving the machine is cherry picking our posts.  Cherry picking our minds and planting seeds and sproutlings of ideas that serve it purpose.
Whose cattle are we any way?
Live free. Love pervasively. Stay awake. 💖✨💫🛸

Social Network Devolution

I don't know a solution. It's unnerving on one hand and disheartening on the other.

Having been a user of social media since 2004, I have a little bit of perspective.

The first social network I joined was Care2. At first it was alot of groups interacting with some really cool people and alot of trolls. Soon Care2 transformed into mainly a petition site and I lost interest. Myspace was big for a while! I enjoyed it for the same reasons Care2 was cool at first but it was on a bigger scale. More cool people and more trolls and more advertising.
Along the way I've participated in a few others. Tribe was cool, I was "friends" with an artist in Estonia who would send weather reports mixed with avant gard poetry. Also HipPlanet but it was alot of partyers.

So I've been around the Cyber block a few times and this new phase is scary af.

I repeat, scary af.
Not only have the algorithms (a.i.) taken over but the addiction factor and brainwash capacity is stellar.
Like any dangerous tool it can be wielded for righteous intent or mindlessly for destruction.
I tend to focus on righteousness ( in my mind at least). There are alot of people working for the ascending trend and those are the ones to "follow" or walk with on the path. 💖✨✨🛸
Namaste you'uns 🕉️

Star Trek vs Star Wars the Splitting

I haven't seen the movie and wasn't particularly interested in all the spin off series on tv.
However as I came across this article and seeing the word "trekkies" I thought to myself yeah yeah.  I'm a trekkie star wars doesn't compare.
Then I caught myself, duh of course star wars doesn't compare, it's apples and oranges. 
In this world of either or division it's hit the world of sci fi too! How oxymoronic is that?
Yeah yeah I like apples. Star wars has its merits and shouldn't be cast into the loser or winner in an either or state of mind.
Yeah and this comment has nothing to do with the movie, just ranting about how the state of our upside down world has caused a schizm even in the open-ended sci fi world of possibilities. 
Thank you. Sorry. And rant over.

More Than Two Faces

People are multifaceted beings. Picture an irridecent gemstone with many facets. Each facet shows something different when it's held to the light.
People are that way too, they show different faces depending where their inner light is shining. Some people don't have control of their inner light , like a fire hose without firemen. You can love their good faces to eternity but you can't put our the other faces, that happens from something within themselves and only they can awaken enough to control it. Namaste 🙏💖

Walking to School Uphill Both Ways

I saw a meme the other day. It was a picture of a young child in a car seat holding a tablet with a disatisfied look on his face. The words said something to the effect of you think only choice of 200 movies and 80 games is bad? When I was a kid we had one movie to watch and that was called out the window. 
Gee, when I was a kid and we complained while riding in the car our parents would say you think riding in the car to school is bad, we had to walk five miles to school in the snow with cardboard patching holes in our shoes. 
 And they did for they were part of the greatest generation who endured the hardships of life in the great depression.

It just made me think, yeah, we had it so easy and kids now are virtually in a completely different world, not only than us but from all the previous generations.

An eccentric elder once told me a story about ants. If you put an empty jelly jar by an anthill, the ants will swarm it and eat it. Continue feeding the ants in this way and eventually they forget how to forage naturally for food and will face starvation and hardship if the foodsource is removed.
This may not be 100% factual but it does illustrate the analogy pretty well.  I don't have to spell it out do I, I mean I'm not the only one that sees humanity living a sci fi novel, am I?

The Sweetness of Arrival

I have these really sweet moments when I look around at my space, my cats and dogs and it all just feels good. Then I think awwe I wish I could share this! But if any one else was here it wouldn't have the same sweetness.

Dust Bunnies and Breadcrumbs

Breadcrumbs.  They've been giving us breadcrumbs all our lives for the chance we would follow them to source. But just as the saying, When the student is ready the teacher appears, the breadcrumbs actually just accumulated like dust bunnies under the bed. Then when our frequency matches the path a little further on we sweep out the dust bunnies and realize it was before us the whole time.

The answer is in the question, the questions are breadcrumbs.

When the Student is Ready

Ya know that saying when the student is ready the teacher appears?
I'd like to contest that statement by elaborating.
It sounds good and seems true, but what's actually happening is more a matter of resonance.
We create our own reality moment by moment with the frequency of our vibration.
When our vibration matches the next step or spiral the teachings become evident. And the trippy thing is if you really look they were there all along! Hindsight is twenty twenty eh?
You couldn't have perceived it altho it was right before your eyes in an overlay the way dimensions do while vibrating at another frequency.
This is the most articulate I could get with this concept I hope it makes sense and isn't too basic bit it's one of the foundations to creating intentional matrices.
Namaste you'uns 🕉️✨

Black Sheep

Being the black sheep means I resisted the family programming. For whatever reason just couldn't. That led the programmers to attempt to hammer in the programming even harder but it still didn't fit, the hammering just caused trauma. So measuring my pain against another's like you're not supposed to do, I surmise my trauma greater/different than siblings who didn't make a living out of bucking the system. Or is their trauma greater because they chose to conform and that in itself is a chronic trauma, imho. Namaste 🙏

Constellatiins-Actually from the end of June

Arcturus and Jupiter are the only dots of illumination in the misty skys.
Sounds of rain dripping from wet leaves, crickets and the occasional craaack as a tree or branch gives way somewhere near by in the forest.

Smart phones 1

I was not in the front lines for getting a smart phone. Some how, when the guy at the Verizon store told me when I was getting one of those slide out qwerty keyboard phones, that within 2 years their goal was that everyone would have smart phones I had a forboding feeling.
I was a holdout until Verizon made me an offer I couldn't refuse, all of the sudden my three sons and I were proud or tentative owners of the brand new iPhone C.
Before that people would come into the tattoo shop I owned with pictures of tattoos they wanted on their phones. They would scroll with a touch and enlarge pics with two fingers. Amazing! I was amazed but not sold yet.
The transition from customers choosing from flash sheets on the wall and magazines to pics on the internet happened right about the same time I opened my shop in 2010.
Nine years later I've jumped off the treadmill into some sort of self employed retirement of my own configuration. Secluded in the mountains of southern Appalachia I connect with like minded people from all over the globe. Market me stuff. Download all kinds of videos including on line hypnosis......
No seriously, it's a thing.
But also the phrase just struck me and Ima gonna repeat it and just leave it there because that's what humanity is becoming succumbing to ...
Online hypnosis

Monday morning in June

Learning it is one thing, applying it to now and future are two other things.
But applying it to the past is where things can get uncomfortable and dicey.